Tis the season...for reflection? Spouse ,I think, is feeling a bit of the empty nest. I remember when 15 was 13 and she gave me her xmas list. That was the first list with no toys on it. I could tell spouse was feeling a little down, so I asked him what is up. He says that he remembers when the kids were little and there were toys played with and they both wanted to be home. I forgot to mention that spouse is their step dad of eight years. Now, 18 is going shopping with her friend and 15 cannot wait to go to her friends house and play rock band. We have alone time more this year than ever. 18 got a job and started driving. 15 wants to hang out with the friends. I put the brakes on when it comes to the friends as 15 would be over someone's house all the time. There does have to be a balance. I said to spouse, you're feeling a bit of the empty nest. It is kind of new for you. He said it isn't for you? I said I have been doing it longer. Not that one gets totally used to it but for me it is more of a phase or like a color that blends into another and fades away. Letting go starts when the child pushes you away because they want to button their own coat or tie their own shoe. I don't remember when 15 was embarrassed of me to hug her in public. I don't remember when she no longer was embarrassed and I could hug her in public. Do I feel the start of the empty nest? Sometimes. I think it is hitting spouse harder though. This time next year 18 may not even be here. My job is to raise 15 and 18 to become responsible adults. If I pushed the child away so I could button the coat because I can't go on to that next phase I would be selfish and end up doing the child a disservice. They do come back. Proof of that is 15 no longer being embarrassed or telling me she loves me in front of her friends.
